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A Slice of Terror
Year: 2005
Country: USA
Director: Michael Haboush
Starring: Michael Haboush, Jeramy Hicks, Michael Haboush, Adam Jackson, Robaire
Synopsis: This film is awful. Horrible. One of the worst ever. A mentally-challenged man seeks his revenge on a gang of bullies with hypnotism and a pizza cutter. Yes, it is that bad.
Quick review: Watching a really awful film can be a bit of a treat. Have a bunch of friends over, order the pizza and beer, and then put in a really bad movie so everyone can make fun of it and roll their eyes together. It can be great fun. Well, this is the film for just such an occasion. It is one of the worst films you will ever see. Yes, it has some cute twinkie boys running around naked for a good 25 percent of the film. And yes, they do engage in simulated gay sex (although it is very obvious no actual sex is taking place). Zaffo (you can't make this stuff up!) is a mentally-challenged guy with two jobs. He's a janitor at the school and a pizza delivery guy. He comes across 10 students playing a schoolyard game (something 9 year olds play, not 19 year olds). He gets in the way, four of the boys get angry and start making fun of him. Four of the boys stand up for him and try and defend Zaffo. The two girls mostly look stoned. Anyway, Zaffo sees a fortune teller who tells our star to quit letting people take advantage of him. So, Zaffo plots his revenge. First, he must hypnotize the school's counselor, who looks like he's younger than the students he guides. Nice casting choice. But hey, the boy gets naked so who are we to complain? Next, the counselor hypnotizes the eight boys to obey Zaffo's every command. Soon, they are all in a shack and Zaffo has the boys taking off their clothes and getting it on with each other to teach them all a lesson. The plot may sound awful, but the film is way worse. The acting is so over the top and so bad. The wig won't stay in one place on one actor. The special effects would be rated poor on You Tube. And there are some holes in the plot so large the Grand Canyon would be jealous. It appears that writer/director/star Michael Haboush either set out to make the worst film in cinema history, or he was looking for an excuse to get a bunch of his friends naked and humping each other and took 5 minutes to come up with this film. I've never before given 0 stars. I'm not even sure my software will accept it. But in this case, I have no choice.
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